Wyatt and Michelle: Postpartum
by Beanie-Babie17
Summary: Wyatt's diary about life as a teen father. A, sort of, part 2 of Come Taste Life.
1. Three Months Postpartum

**Wyatt and Michelle: Postpartum**

**Author's Note:**** I know it has been a long time coming, but I finally got my face out of the Sims 2 game and back into FanFiction. This story is somewhat of a continuation of the ending of **_**Come Taste Life**_** that I wrote a while back. It focuses mainly on what happens after Wyatt and Michelle had their son. If you haven't read **_**Come Taste Life**_** it is recommended for the background to this story. **_** Come and Get a Slice **_**the sequel of Come**_** Taste Life**_** should be coming soon, who knows? **

**Chapter 1: Three Months Postpartum**

February 18

Dear Journal: Today our son is three months old. He's growing so fast I can't believe it. When I came home from school today my mom said he rolled over for the first time! I already know my son is a little genius! School was pretty boring today, as usual, basically a large blur of teachers talking and broken leads from my mechanical pencil. I felt like such a wuss but all I could think about was Stevie. When I got home to mine and Michelle's apartment it was pretty much the usual. My mom was playing with Stevie while Michelle sat on the couch frozen in a catatonic state. This had been the norm since shortly after Stevie's birth back in November. Michelle didn't do anything with him. She wouldn't hold him, she wouldn't nurse him, she wouldn't even acknowledge his existence. All that flack she gave me during her pregnancy about being responsible and stepping up for the sake of the child we were bringing into this world was a bunch of crap. My mom says Michelle is suffering from what's called Postpartum Depression. It effects different women in different ways but Michelle must have a very severe case. It's almost like she hasn't left the couch since we brought Stevie home in November. My mom and her mom have been coming over every day to help out while I'm at school. Then she leaves and I take over for the evening. Michelle doesn't even go to school anymore. She was supposed to be taking online classes for her GED but that hasn't happened. My mom has to coax her into eating and bathing or she would starve! I really don't like this, but I don't know what I can do. My son is the most important thing and so is Michelle or at least she used to be.

February 24

Dear Journal: Today was the first time I've been able to hang out with my friends outside of school since Stevie was born. It felt like I hadn't been to the mall in ages. Everything felt so different at first, but then familiar when I saw the Lemon and all my friends at the table. Everyone immediately got up and tackled me like I had come back from the dead. Jonesy joked that Michelle must've had me locked up for the past three months. I told him it was just very busy with the baby. They don't know about Michelle's condition because I just wanted things to be more normal since we were having a party. Today was Jen and Jude's one year anniversary. Well, technically it's the one year anniversary of the Winter Formal where they had their first official date, but that's just semantics. Jen and Jude really are a great couple and I was happy that any of us were able to remain sane, much less, in love with everything that happened last year. Jen mentioned that we should put last year behind us, but I told them I couldn't. I couldn't put that entire year behind me because it was too important. I went through a bunch of crap but I also became a responsible man and a father. Jen laughed at me and asked how I became so deep and intellectual. I simply replied: parenthood. So we basically stuffed our faces with pizza and caught ourselves up on the things we may have missed. It's not like we never see each other at school, but there just isn't enough time. While Nikki was sitting in Jonesy's lap and Jude was talking to Caitlin, Jen pulled me aside to ask me something. She wanted to know if I could help her write a song for Jude. She wanted to get him a gift that was unique and special so she figured a song could help. I felt pretty honored that she asked me. I figured I would feel out of place after having been away for so long, but my friends would never forget me. They all asked about Michelle throughout the party and I just told them she was watching Stevie. Then Caitlin and Nikki said I should really bring the both of them out to the mall one of these days. I said I would try. When I got home to my mom and Michelle, Stevie was already asleep and mom told me she needed to talk to me sometime soon. I nodded and went to kiss Stevie goodnight. I also kiss Michelle goodnight every night, even though she never acknowledges it. Now on to a ton of Pre-Calculus homework.

February 28

Dear Journal: Earlier this week I got the most terrifying shock of my life. I got home as I usually do at around 4pm. I immediately went into Stevie's room to say hi to him and my mom but, they weren't there. I went back into the living room area where Michelle was propped up on the couch and uselessly asked her if she knew where mom and Stevie were. As I stated, it was a fruitless effort as Michelle hasn't spoken to anyone in months. My heart was pounding and I was racing around the room looking near the kitchen area for my mom's purse or phone. Then I thought 'phone' and went to the kitchen to call my mom. She said she took Stevie home with her and asked me to come over. I kind of wish I hadn't because of how things went.

Basically she told me that she cannot keep looking after Stevie every day because she has a new work schedule and also other things she needs to get done. She told me that I should really seek part time work so that I could pay for daycare. I wasn't sure if I would be able to afford daycare or find a job as I had been laid off from the burger place I worked at last year. Then I sighed and remembered my own words from nearly a year ago when I spoke with Michelle's mother when we found out she was pregnant:

_I'll get a second job, and maybe a third. I'll perform on street corners and if that doesn't work I'll even sell my guitar. Mrs. Carter, I love Michelle and I wanna do everything in my power to care for her and the baby._

I remembered that day and I understood what my mom was saying. Parenting is a process that changes a person. But the changing doesn't all happen overnight. It is a constant. I want to provide for my son, so I have to get another job and find as many ways to make money as I can. I still do love Michelle and our son and I _will _do whatever I can to provide for them. It would be at least a little easier if Michelle could get a a full time job while I go to school and then she could pick him up from daycare and bring him home while I worked after school. I knew that was just a fantasy, though. My parents and Michelle's parents have done everything we can to get her to snap out of it but nothing works. No doctors or medications have been able to help. If Michelle snapped out of it and got a job it would be a lifesaver. We really need the extra money especially since we will need to start paying for rent soon. Michelle's parents were very kind and generous to us, giving us things for Stevie and paying our first few months rent. Now we need daycare money and rent. Tommorrow I start job hunting. It shouldn't be too hard to get a job since I have a kid now. I should bring Stevie with me for sympathy.

March 7

Dear Journal: Not a lot of time to write today, but I got a job at a department store! I'm so excited just to have a job. Turns out the sympathy card plays very nicely. I took Stevie with me this weekend to the mall and every woman there practically melted over him, including Jen, Caitlin, and Nikki. I brought him in while I waited for the manager then when I saw the manager come toward me I lifted Stevie up and kissed his tiny cheek. Then I handed him off the Nikki and said, "Daddy loves you," before I shook the manager's hand. There's no doubt in my mind that I got that job because of Stevie. I really do love that little guy. I started training this week for the job which is from 4 to 10. My mom also started working her new schedule this week so I have to get up early with the baby, gather up all his stroller, carseat, and toys and rush over with my mom to daycare, then have my mom drop me off at school. Then I have job training from four to ten so I have to rush back to daycare and I don't get home till 11. And with homework I could be up for hours. It's so frustrating doing this all alone while Michelle just sits there, taking up space and not doing anything. I've got to go. Homework doesn't do itself, you know.


	2. Six Months Postpartum

**Wyatt and Michelle: Postpartum**

Chapter 2: Six Months Postpartum

May 18

Dear Journal: I just found out I'm in danger of failing Pre-Calculus. I need to pass this class if I'm going to be a senior next semester. I'm really just ready to be done with school. Work is going pretty good, just a bit repetitive. But my son is now learning to crawl and has been spending time with other kids in daycare, which I like. Something that small really keeps me going. Michelle is still in the same condition as before. I've pretty much started to ignore her existence and treat her the same way I would treat a coat rack. I only notice her if I accidently bump into her. It concerns me that she hasn't had any interaction with our son. He probably only sees her as a coat rack, too. On the upside, I finally got around to helping Jen write that song for Jude. I know I'm a million years late, but she understands. So far I have the chorus:

_I am in love with you_

_I am desperate for you_

_I'm always close to you_

_I need you_

It's kind of hard to hear song lyrics written. But it sounds great in person. I've got work, so later.

May 26

Dear Journal: School's almost over, but instead of relaxing and anticipating school ending, I'm stressing out more than ever. If I fail Pre-Calculus, I have to take it in Summer School. And if I take it in Summer School, I won't be able to work full-time like I planned. What's worse is that I barely have any time for myself. Sure, my mom, and sometimes Mrs. Carter, come over to check up on things, but never longer than a few hours or so to make sure Michelle is still alive. Every day I have to study and work and take care of Stevie. This explains why I'm failing. One person can only be spread so thin before he starts to rip apart. I _have_ to pass Pre-Calculus which means I need to either study harder or beg for extra credit. Perhaps I can pull the, 'I have a baby,' card again. It worked at the mall and my teacher seems to love babies.

May 27

Dear Journal: I embarrassed myself today after school. I talked to my math teacher after class about what I could do to get better grades. She wasn't in a good mood and barked at me that I should have been paying more attention. I'll admit I could be more focused in class except I'm usually falling asleep. It's not the teacher that puts me to sleep; it's the simple fact that I _get_ no sleep between school, work, and Stevie. I tried to keep my composure with her. I politely apologized and basically begged for extra credit. After that she went off on this long tirade about how students never want to focus until the final weeks when teachers are trying to put in final grades and make exams. Then she told me point blank that I needed an A+ on my exam to pass this class and to pass the eleventh grade. I still remained calm, taking a deep breath and trying to bite my tongue. But I was so afraid of failing that I dropped the bombshell:

"I have a son. He's six months old and I don't have _any_ help from his mother. She's basically a vegetable. I take him to daycare, I come to school, I go to work, I pick him up _from_ daycare and go home try to get him to bed and then attempt to study and do homework while he's asleep. I don't get home till eleven, so you can imagine how much of my day is spent studying before I fall asleep. My whole life is all about Stevie."

I hadn't intended on giving my teacher my whole life story about my son but it was already out there. All of a sudden I felt two tears streaming down my face. I tried to wipe them away quickly, but I know she saw me crying because her expression changed considerably:

"So, you're a teenaged father raising your son alone? That's gotta be tough. I have a son, but I'm also married and out of high school. He's three and his name's Daniel. Look, if you can stay after school for an hour a day, I can give you extra credit assignments. Just, please, try to stay awake in class."

I struggled to compose myself and thanked her. Just as I reached in my pocket for my phone it started ringing. It was from the daycare. They needed me to pick Stevie up early because he had a fever. Ugh. I had never been so frustrated. But I took a rain check from my teacher and called my mom. While I ran to my mom's car, I tripped and scraped up my face. When I got to the daycare and saw my son, my whole mood changed. I basically became a frantic woman instead of an angry man. From the moment I grabbed him from the daycare worker to the moment we stepped foot into the doctor's office, I couldn't breathe.

The pediatrician gave me baby drops to give Stevie every few hours. I had completely forgotten about everything, including my job. I forgot to call and tell them I needed to take the day off. I imagine when I call tomorrow, the boss won't be too happy, but I need to take care of my kid first.

May 30

No school for me today or work, either. I've spent the past two days taking care of a fussy, crying, sick baby. Believe me, it's no walk in the park. I haven't slept for two days, which sucks, seeing as I need to if I'm ever going to start any of the extra credit I need to do. I'm so exhausted. And, I got fired two days ago, even after I explained that I had no one to watch my sick child. They didn't care how cute Stevie was then. Unfortunately, neither my mom nor Michelle's mom can watch him today. Ugh. I need coffee. And sleep. And _another _job.

June 5

Dear Journal: Good news: As of last night, Stevie is all better. His temperature is normal and he's much less fussy and eating more without spitting up all over me. Bad news: I haven't found a new job and I can't put Stevie back in daycare. A week ago when he got sick he had only been there for three days that week, but as it turns out, you have to pay weekly even if your kid isn't there the whole week! Between that trip to the pediatrician and me getting fired, I can't afford it now. I haven't been able to do much job hunting with no one to watch Stevie for longer than an hour or so. Maybe I need to enlist some help. I'm taking Stevie to the park today. We both need the fresh air.

* * *

The fresh air was wonderful and Stevie loved the park. It was pretty warm today, too, so that helped. Just checked the mail and realized rent was due five days ago! How could I be so absent minded? I only have until 5 pm today to pay it. I guess I really do need to enlist that help right about now.

* * *

I have the coolest friends I could ever ask for. I only had 200 dollars in my bank account and rent is 500. I begged and pleaded with all of them and we all somehow managed to scrounge together the full amount. We looked under couch cushions and opened piggy banks and even sold some of Caitlin's clothes. It was a tough three hours. The guys had no idea how relieved I was. Then they asked to hang out in my apartment and I just froze. I wasn't sure how they would react to the mother of my child as a lifeless zombie. Nevertheless, I just sighed and let them in. Everyone was surprised to say the least. No one wanted to sit down after saying hi to Michelle and not getting a response. I told them it was okay to sit or even hang a lampshade on her because she wouldn't notice. Jonesy, Jude, and I all thought it was funny, but the girls didn't, except Nikki who wasn't paying attention because she was feeding Stevie. Jen was especially angry because she thought it was unfair for Stevie to see his mother this way. She thought Michelle needed psychological help and not to be some roadside attraction. I explained to Jen that we've tried everything and nothing worked, but she didn't believe me. Instead of arguing with her I just dropped the subject and went to the kitchen to make coffee. Then I realized we _had_ no coffee. By the time I got back from the kitchen, Jen had slammed the door shut and left. Guess she won't be getting that song after all, which is unfortunate because it's turning out to be awesome! So without coffee, I asked my four remaining best friends for help. I needed a job, I needed to study, and I desperately needed sleep. So we worked out a schedule that gave me, and mine and Michelle's moms, less constant responsibilty over Stevie. And it gave me time for job hunting, studying, and sleeping. All of which I'm going to do now.

June 6

Dear Journal: Today has been great. Jonesy took Stevie over to his house and his stepmother, Emma absolutely adores him. She said she could watch him sometimes and he and little Emma could have a play-date. Stevie's been gone since 7 am. I slept till 3 in the afternoon, I was so tired. Nikki is coming over later to help me study for a Pre-Calculus quiz. I'm so mad that I missed a whole week of school dealing with sick Stevie, but I emailed all my teachers and they're willing to help me. Since I don't have a job right now, next week I can spend extra time at school catching up on all my missed assignments. Being a teen parent sucks so much sometimes. Tons of homework, tons of job applications, and tons of...crap I forgot the stupid coffee. Later.


	3. Nine Months Postpartum

**Wyatt and Michelle: Postpartum**

**Chapter Three: Nine Months Postpartum**

August 6

Dear Journal: In a few weeks, I'll officially be a high school senior! I freaking worked my butt off to pass grade 11 and I'm so glad to be done with it. Nikki and I studied for hours every day and it really paid off. I almost thought the teacher handed me the wrong test when I saw my grade on the final: a 105. That's right; I even got the extra credit points! She smiled when she handed me that test. I know she was proud. I found a summer job a couple of weeks after school let out, which is great. I work at a smoothie shop in the mall. I won't get kicked out of my apartment this summer and I get to see my friends more often. And something else very interesting happened this past July. Remember three months ago when Jen got upset with me over the whole 'Michelle' thing? Well, she told Emma and Emma told her friend who works at a mental health facility and they came over to the apartment to examine Michelle. That was a pretty freaky thing to come home to. Anyway, Michelle's parents came over and we all discussed it and decided it was best for all involved that she be sent to this facility so she can get some help. Everyone turned to me at the end of the conversation to see how I felt about it. My response: Good luck prying her off that couch. Then I went to Stevie's room to see if he was awake from his nap yet. I wasn't upset about her leaving at all. I feel like some large weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I had been paying less and less attention to Michelle over time. I only notice she isn't here when I walk through the front door. This also brought a new element of freedom to my life. I can actually invite people over to the apartment without making them feel awkward. Plus, I can start sleeping on the couch again instead of the floor. I should probably get it cleaned first. If this facility can help her, Michelle can have a hand in raising our son. I would love for my son's mother to be a part of his life, even if she isn't a part of mine. Speaking of our son, Stevie is a little explorer these days. He's perfected his crawling method and is getting into everything. I can't even put him in the playpen anymore to keep him out of the way, he starts screaming if I do. He's getting so big. I can hardly believe he was just 6 pounds when we brought him home almost nine months ago.

August 12

Dear Journal: Today at work I waited on this really cute redhead with freckles. She reminded me of my ex girlfriend, Marlowe. When I handed gave her her smoothie, I caught myself staring. I don't think she noticed it, though. She was cute and all, but it really got me thinking when I was on the way to Nikki's house to get Stevie: What would dating look like for a single teen father? I'm doubtful that any girl would want to get close to an 18 year old guy in high school who already has a kid. Besides,  
I'd never have time to date, anyway. I barely have time for sleep. I'm not sure if I want to continue dating Michelle or if she'll be a vegetable the rest of her life. I have no idea. I just hope she can play a significant role in Stevie's life.

August 20

Dear Journal: First day of school was standard, I guess. New teachers, new students, and new classes. I have a history class with Jen, but she's still mad at me. I thought we had resolved the issue with Michelle, but I guess Jen doesn't like how I'm reacting to what happened. Caitlin says Jen thinks I'm too calm about Michelle getting sent away. I don't know what to do about that. It's just how I feel. Anyway, I'm excited that I'm a senior now. Graduation is right around the corner. Each senior had a mandatory meeting with their advisors today to talk about our plans for after graduation. My advisor, Ms. Short, asked me if I was still on the 4 year college track and I almost said 'yes'. Then I thought about it and didn't have an answer to give. I made all of these plans before Stevie got here and never gave them a second thought until now. How was I going pay for college? Who would take care of Stevie? Were my grades even good enough to get in? Should I wait a few years? Do I still _want_ to go at all? Ugh. Being a parent really makes you think about the future with more urgency than usual.

August 27

Dear Journal: I've been looking into ways to make extra money. It's not that I need it, but its nice to have savings. I saw a bulletin board at school about a song writing contest with a $500 cash prize. I guess I could use the song I was helping Jen write, since she hates me now.

* * *

After work today while I was on the way to get Stevie from Caitlin's house, I don't know what happened. I just fell over and my chest was pounding. I called Caitlin and she and her mom came to get me with Stevie. The doctor's office was closed so we had to go to the emergency room. God, it was awful. It's nothing like it is on TV where people are rushing in and out. It's slow and boring and crowded. After waiting for maybe two hours, I was finally seen by a nurse. When she took my blood pressure her eyes widened and she didn't say anything. Caitlin and I took that as a bad sign. Another nurse appeared and took my blood pressure again. She mumbled something under her breath and left the room. I grabbed Caitlin's hand out of fear. She rubbed the back of my head and told me everything would be fine. After a few more minutes, a doctor appeared. His name was Dr. Collins. He told me he needed to check my blood pressure a third time, with a different monitor, to see if the reading was accurate. He checked it, and then just looked at me for a few seconds before he spoke:

"We can't figure out why this is, but your blood pressure is dangerously high. A normal reading would be 120/80, but yours is 160/90."

I was just shocked. That explained why I felt like crap, but it made me nervous. I'm 18, I don't smoke, and I have a healthy weight. How could I get high blood pressure? He then said that based on my previous medical history that I don't have any risk factors. He said I needed to be on blood pressure medicine. We left the hospital and went to get the prescription filled. Mrs. Cooke said I should plan to see my family doctor soon. I guess I'm sleeping on Caitlin's couch tonight with Stevie.

September 3

Dear Journal: I went to the doctor yesterday and sure enough my blood pressure is still shockingly high. He also told me there was no medical reason for it. Then he asked me if I have a lot of stress in my life. I wasn't sure. Then I told him that I'm in high school, a senior, don't know when or if I'll go to college, and I have a nine month old whose mother is in a mental institution and he stopped me short. He told me that was way too much stress for someone my age. He told me to make sure I took the medication every day and to try and limit the stress in my life.

Jen called me today to see how I was. We talked for a long while. I had forgotten that she had been in a similar position to me last year. She knows what it's like to have a lot of stress. She also didn't seem mad at me anymore. I kind of feel bad about entering her song in the music contest now. She didn't bring it up, so hopefully she forgot. And besides, it will only matter if I actually win the contest. I really need to go grocery shopping soon. I seriously have no food.


	4. Baby's First Birthday

**Wyatt and Michelle: Postpartum**

**Chapter Four: Baby's First Birthday**

**November 16**

**Dear Journal:** Stevie's birthday is coming up in a couple of days and I wanted to make it very special. My little explorer has also started to speak in semi-coherent words instead of noises and gibberish. He says 'dada' for me, 'nana' for my mom, and 'meenee' for Michelle's mom, which I find hilarious. He's also starting to pull up on tables and couches preparing to walk. He hasn't quite started walking yet. I'm relieved about that. He can take all the time he needs. The gang has been tremendous with helping me plan this party and keep my life as stress free as possible. The beta blockers have been working as far as I can tell. Except they have the annoying side effect of insomnia. And just when Stevie got on a normal waking and sleeping schedule. I wanted to do a really big party for my son, but with the advice from my doctor about living stress free I reluctantly decided against it. We're having a small get-together at my apartment with cake and pizza. Maybe for his second birthday I can do something bigger. I was at the grocery store with the baby today and saw a pregnant girl who couldn't have been older than 20. She looked over at Stevie in his stroller and smiled. I smiled back. Little things like that make my day. It's like a secret parent's club. Tomorrow I'm leaving Stevie with Nikki so I can finish planning the party without so many distractions.

* * *

**November 17**

**Dear Journal:** Well, that was easy. I went to the party supply store with Caitlin, since she knows how to shop, and Jen helped me make itinerary and send out invitations. She promised not to invite too many people and to keep things simple. Tomorrow, my son will have been on earth for an entire year! I still can't get over how fast it went by. I know I should be the happiest person in the world right now, but all I can think about is Michelle. I know she's where she needs to be which is getting help for her post partum depression, but a small part of me wishes she was here with me. Not the creepy, catatonic Michelle, but the funny and feisty one I fell in love with and conceived my son with. I know I shouldn't hold my breath and expect her to be better and come home tomorrow, but I just see how fast Stevie is growing and I'm sort of afraid that Michelle won't be able to bond with him as easily when he gets older. I really should relax and just be happy, though. With or without Michelle, Stevie will have a good birthday party.

* * *

**November 18**

**Dear Journal: **Sorry if this is sloppy or doesn't make much sense, but I'm writing quickly so I won't forget any details of today! I wanted my son to have an unforgettable birthday party and I'm certain that today will be unforgettable, well, at least for me, anyway. This afternoon at around 12 pm my parents, Michelle's parents, Emma, and my friends all arrived at my apartment for the party. We started with games, went into gifts, and saved the cake for last. Stevie seemed to be having fun and got some nice gifts. Sorry if I'm rushing over minor details, but it gets more interesting. As we got to the cake and candles I was standing in front of the cake holding Stevie when we had gotten to the end of 'Happy Birthday' and I was about to help him blow out the candles, we all heard a knock at the door. I was so pissed. Just when we got to the good part! I handed Stevie to Nikki and went to get the door since I'm the one who actually lives here. I opened the door and just stared for a second. I felt like I was looking into a picture from the past. I shook my head and gained my composure and realized who I was looking at. It was my son's mother. I'm sure that at some point she asked to come in and that I let her in and that she saw Nikki holding Stevie and asked to hold him and that Nikki asked me if it was alright and I said it was, but I really don't remember any of that. I was sort of in a fog from the time Michelle came to the door to the time that everyone left except for her and my mom. Finally, my mom sat us down after putting Stevie to bed. She asked Michelle how she felt and she burst into tears. She managed to choke out that she felt like she had finally walked out of a terrible, dark dungeon and had finally returned home. She also couldn't believe how she lost her pregnancy weight so quickly and felt as if she had never even had Stevie. My mom asked me how I felt and I couldn't answer her right away. Physically, I felt kind of tired from running around all weekend buying things for a party and then having a party. Emotionally, I felt numb. I always wondered what I would do if Michelle suddenly got better and started spending time with our son, but now that it happened I couldn't process it. I joked that I could finally stop calling her 'coat rack'. She just stared at me. I had forgotten that she didn't even know I called her that. Then Michelle asked me point blank if I thought it would be worth it for Stevie to know who she was after so long. In my mind I wanted to say 'no', because, from a logical standpoint, Stevie's still not old enough to remember much, anyway. She could come around when he turns three and he would never know she wasn't there. But deep down, I couldn't say that. When I looked at Michelle, I didn't see the coat rack anymore. Her hair was washed and curly like it used to be. Her face showed sincere emotion instead of blankness, and she was dressed quite nicely. In a bare midriff top, reminding me of her cheerleading days. This Michelle sitting in front of me was not the coat rack that I came to know and despise over the past year. I think she is the Michelle that gave birth to my Stevie and that held my hand so tight at a party last year where we all thought we saw a girl come back from the dead. I could never say anything to hurt this Michelle, so I told her she owed it to him to try and be a real mother. She agreed and said that she would try to be a great mother to Stevie and also get her GED and maybe go to college one day. She even suggested that she and I might be married one day if I would have her and accept her apology. I said I would and that I did. I thought that I would be filled with emotion or at least feel nervous after all of this, but I didn't. I still felt nothing. After my mom left and Michelle kissed me on the cheek and went to sleep over at her parent's house, I just sat up against the wall for about an hour. Feeling, hearing, thinking, smelling absolutely nothing. Later, I burned my wrist with a cigarette lighter just to see if it was physical, too. It isn't. Maybe I'll just blame my lack of feelings on this long exhausting day and the beta blockers. Hopefully, soon it will get better. I just hope for Stevie's sake Michelle will hold up her end and be a better mom.

* * *

**November 25**

**Dear Journal: ** I guess the effect on emotion that the beta blockers have had on me are starting to wear off. This afternoon I came home from work to Michelle feeding Stevie while my mom was watching TV. I sighed and was relieved at what I saw. When my mom was about to leave, Michelle asked if she could get a ride to her parents' house. I told her she didn't need to do that and that she could stay here since it is still our apartment. She decided to stay and my mom left. Later, when we put Stevie down for a nap she started kissing me. Emotionally I was confused by this. But physically I, well, I wasn't. Michelle took notice of this and whispered in my ear. I blushed a little and then pushed her away. First of all, the last time I had done something like what she was suggesting was when she was pregnant. Second, I'm still not quite sure about how to handle the logistics of a screaming toddler disturbing us. And third, I love Stevie and all, but I'm not sure if I want to give him any siblings just yet. I told Michelle we needed time to reconnect and she needed time to get to know me again because I have changed so much since Stevie was born. I asked her out on an actual date and she said 'yes'. She then demanded that I take her to her parent's because she didn't think she could handle us being in the same place overnight. I reluctantly took her home and gave her a handshake instead of a kiss before she got out of the car. When she walked inside I glanced in the backseat at a sleeping Stevie and asked him how he liked his new mommy.

* * *

**December 3**

**Dear Journal: **Even though it was freezing outside tonight and I'm exhausted from work, I decided that I would take Michelle out on a date tonight. We dropped off Stevie with her parents and went to a fancy Italian restaurant in the mall. Things were awkward at first because all I could talk about were things Stevie had done or that had happened that Michelle wouldn't remember. Michelle finally started talking about her pregnancy and we finally got on a topic we both would remember. Things that seemed terrifying last year are somehow funny now. Then she mentioned something funny Stevie did today and mentioned that she loves him. I felt so happy to hear her say that I grabbed her hand and just held it while I stared at her. I had really missed her this past year, but I was too busy and too angry to notice it. We got back on subjects from the past and she hit me with something I hadn't thought about in ages. She asked me about her cousin that ran away with her boyfriend from the Home for Unwed Mothers and was never found. She wanted to know if there had been any new information since then. At first, I had no idea what she was talking about, but then I stopped mid-sentence and remembered. But I didn't tell her. I just happened to sneeze into my hands at that exact moment and was able to leave the table to wash my hands. I made sure I stayed in there long enough for her to forget and I came back and showed her pictures from my phone of Stevie when he was still a few months old. That completely distracted her and we finished our date. I brought Michelle home with me after we picked up Stevie. We're cuddling underneath the covers of my air mattress right now. She's kissing me and trying to take this book away from me and...

* * *

**December 4**

**Dear Journal: **Last night was amazing. The brisk cold day was amazing. The date was amazing. Things that happened after the date were amazing. In the interest of prudence just in case anyone, namely Michelle, finds this book and reads it I'll only write briefly about what happened last night: Apparently the logistics of love making with a sleeping child in the room aren't as complicated as I previously thought! My life is so great right now. I think that things are finally starting to return to normal around here.

* * *

**December 18**

**Dear Journal: **I know I haven't written in a while, but I've been so busy with work, Stevie, Michelle, my friends and the upcoming Christmas holiday that I haven't had much time to write. Things are still amazing. My girlfriend and I are over the moon in love. More in love than we were when she got pregnant, no doubt. It seems like Stevie is bonding with her quite nicely as well. A couple of days ago when I got home to just Michelle and Stevie I saw Michelle crying and got worried. When I asked her what was wrong, she said 'nothing'. A typical girl answer. Then I went over to her, kissed her forehead and asked again. This time she looked up at me with the biggest smile and said, "Stevie called me 'mama' today." It was such a great moment. In other news, I think I may be getting sick. I thought I was getting a cold a couple of weeks ago, but it went away as quickly as it came. I hope it's like that this time, too. I can't afford not to go shopping or take Stevie to see Santa when Christmas is coming up so quickly. I also have to get a very important Christmas gift for Michelle, but since it's still possible that she might read this, I'm keeping it a secret for a while.

* * *

**December 25**

**Dear Journal: ** It's Christmas! I haven't written this past week because I actually did end up getting sick. I'm much better now, but if it wasn't for Michelle and both of our parents I don't know if we could've made it to Christmas. My mom took Stevie to stay with her and Michelle rounded up all my friends and delegated them to all the tasks that needed to be done. She and Jen did butt heads a little from what I heard, but it wasn't too bad. Jonesy and Jude put up our tree and Jen and Caitlin did the Christmas shopping while Michelle basically took care of me. I feel so bad for missing work and not getting quality time with Stevie leading up to today, but that all changed when Michelle gave me my Christmas present this morning. It was a picture of Stevie at the mall with Santa Claus. It was pretty much all I wanted for Christmas. I wanted Stevie to have a good time since this is the first Christmas that we're all here as a family and nobody is a coat rack. I had just enough energy on the 20th to buy Michelle's special Christmas present and give it to her mom for safe keeping until today. I just got it back from her mom and I'm planning on giving it to her later today before everyone leaves.

* * *

So...I have great news as of three hours ago! I gave Michelle her Christmas gift right before everyone left, and she loved it! I knew she would be happy, but I didn't expect her to jump up and down like a little girl. Everyone complimented how good I am at getting gifts and that I was able to keep it a secret for so long. I even got a kiss under the mistletoe for it! Everyone's gone now, and she just can't stop staring at her gift. We're supposed to be cuddling, but she's so enamored with this thing. I almost wish I had given her something else. But when I look at her all I can see is how perfect she looks wearing it and I know I made the right decision. I know the guys were a little shocked when I told them what I was getting her. They all thought it was too expensive and too early to get a gift like that, but I knew in my heart I was prepared. I just had to get the mother of my child the best gift I could think of. So I got her the only other thing in the world that matters to me besides our son. I gave Michelle the gift of myself. I pulled out my heart and offered it to her for the rest of her life. Granted, it came in the much more portable and less messy shape of a diamond ring that I've been saving up for since Stevie was born. I kept saving despite what happened because I just knew deep down that she would come back to me sooner or later and I didn't want to risk not having it ready. I truly love this woman and even though I could have waited a little longer to ask her, I couldn't bear the thought of this ring getting lost or just driving me mad any longer. This has been, by far, the best Christmas ever!


	5. Epilogue

**Wyatt and Michelle: Postpartum**

**Requiem**

**Dear Diary:** Everything was going perfect. I had it all. But then I made one mistake. It was one offhanded and unthinking, but foolish and destructive mistake. A few months after our Christmas engagement we had started planning a wedding for May. It was such a boring process for me but a stressful process for Michelle. She mentioned to me that it is very unusual for a couple who has a child together in their teens to stay together. I told her we're both very unusual people. She laughed but then she paused for a while. I could've just ignored the pause and left it alone, but I just had to ask what was wrong. When I asked she told me she had been thinking about her cousin again. I sighed. I thought I had avoided that subject brilliantly before and didn't think she'd mention it again, but she had. She wanted to know if maybe her cousin and her cousin's boyfriend had managed to stay together like we had. I wouldn't dare breathe a word to her about it, because I knew it would crush her and send her back to the coat rack. I'm certain that may have been what sent her there in the first place, she just doesn't remember. Again, I could've just stayed silent and wondered with her, but instead, I had to give her a hopeful lie. "Who knows? But I'm sure they're fine." Words that will now forever be burned into my memory. I'll never, ever forget them. Two weeks passed after that conversation and everything was normal. Then on the fourteenth day it was pouring raining outside and Michelle stormed into the apartment soaking wet with a laptop tucked under her armpit. She ran in screaming so loudly that it woke up Stevie.

"I'm sure they're fine? I'm sure they're fine?" she howled at me. I had no idea what she was talking about until she flung open the laptop and showed me the top news story. It was about the trial of Michelle's cousin's boyfriend, Rodney. I didn't even need to read the full article to know why Michelle was pissed. I tried to explain to her that I was only trying to protect her. She didn't remember any of this being in the news because it became really high profile around the time that Stevie was a newborn and Michelle was catatonic. I hadn't wanted her to know out of fear of her going crazy again. But I couldn't shield her from Google.

"My cousin is dead and you told me that you didn't know what happened. I won't put up with liars. I'm taking Stevie and-" I cut her off when she threatened to take Stevie.

"You're not taking my son!"

"Oh trust me, I am. I'm taking him to my mother's house."

"Lay one finger on him and I'm calling the cops." I screamed and surprised myself at how defensive I could be.

She then left in a huff and slammed the door behind her. I knew she would be back and contemplated fleeing with Stevie to the U.S. but I knew that would make things worse. I cuddled with Stevie that night fearful of what would happen the next day.

Sure enough, the next day came with a knock on the door from a social worker. She informed me that Michelle believed that Stevie would be in danger if he continued to live with me. I told her that Michelle is a crazy mental patient whose judgment can't be trusted. Nevertheless, the social worker still had a job to do. She went through the cabinets, toured the bedroom and examined Stevie while jotting everything down on a clipboard. I was furious with Michelle by then. I called her mom's house looking for her, but Mrs. Carter claimed she had no idea where she was. After all Mrs. Carter and I had been through with Michelle she was still willing to protect her. That's a mother's love for you, I guess. I was furious that I couldn't get in touch with Michelle when she was throwing curveballs at me. I talked with my mom and she helped me get a lawyer. Then, later, I found out Michelle had a lawyer as well. After several weeks of meetings with lawyers and signing paperwork I was finally able to find out from her lawyer what Michelle wanted. Basically, she wanted to see me suffer, which meant she wanted our son. I honestly didn't think she could get custody of him given her mental state, but when our lawyers went to court the judge ruled, after examination done by psychiatrists that Michelle was mentally sane and fit to raise a child. Also, Michelle's mother attested to her being fit to raise a child and said she would help her. The decision was not yet made as to who would get Stevie because the judge said we and our lawyers could work it out for ourselves.

My lawyer continued to tell me that I should give up custody to Michelle and I could possibly get visitation rights. But I didn't want that, I wanted full custody. I was so sure that Michelle just wanted to fight, so if I didn't give up my rights to my son, she would tell him terrible things about me and we would never stop fighting over who should get custody. The more the lawyers persisted and insisted that if Michelle wouldn't give me full custody the courts wouldn't either and the fear of never seeing my son crept in, the more I began to back down and cooperate. On a cold March morning I went to my lawyer's office and signed away my rights as a parent to Stevie so that I'd at least have some chance of seeing him if Michelle got full custody. The following Friday I went to court and found out troubling news. As I had signed away my parental rights to Stevie, Michelle had done the same thing. She only wanted to hurt me while I was fighting, but when I backed down, she was done. Since neither of us had parental rights to Stevie anymore, he would be placed with a foster family and/or eventually adopted. I tried for three more months to get my son back but the courts continued to deny it and then I found out it was too late. He had been adopted by a family and I was not given the name of the family or any information about where Stevie was. My life literally crumbled before my eyes as I lost the things that mattered most to me so quickly. My son, the woman I had loved, and my will to live. I thought of ending my life more times than I could count, but it never got past that stage. I isolated myself from friends and family and poured myself into my music. I had won that song writing contest and had my song recorded and it became a hit. I didn't talk with my old friends anymore, anyway so who would care? By May, instead of becoming a husband and having a lovely family to support me I became a singing sensation practically overnight with many local fans adoring me and teen girls wanting to date me, but which one do you think I wanted the most?


End file.
